Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Mourning + December Daily {not that the two go togther}

Thank you.
I've known non-animal lovers who just don't get it.
But with each comment you left, I felt wrapped a little snugger in compassion and warmth
and that was exactly what I needed last week.
We said goodbye to Lucy on Monday evening and when we returned home we found
the Farmboy's little pig-dog sitting on the couch with a swollen lymph node in her neck.
It was too late to get back to the vet's, so as soon as they opened the next morning I made an appointment.
Just as I thought, she had a tooth abscess. 
We got her some antibiotics and pain meds, but the dental schedule was booked for the day.
Wednesday morning the Farmboy had to go out of town {not to be back until Sunday evening} and I headed back to the vet's office to drop Daisy off.  When I picked her up, later in the afternoon, she was so relieved to see me, though she didn't hesitate to give me the evil eye once we got back home and settled.
Later the Farmboy pointed out that Daisy's need to be taken care of gave me something to focus on and distract me from the first and hardest part of the week.
So as my brother said, "Thank you, Daisy, for taking one for the team."
When not at the vet's, she and I spent the majority of our time parked on the couch watching a lot of bad T.V.
But that's alright.  I needed that time to feel my sadness and grieve for my friend.
Yesterday morning when I woke up
I was able to say goodbye and let her light go.
As I stood in my living room I closed my eyes and mentally envisioned this.
Once I released her light I felt a warmth surround me and I was able to smile fully again.
 It felt good.
Also, I was able to take a shower, brush out my week long pony tailed hair and put on something other than sweats and pajamas.
After I was once again clean and back to functioning, I dug out my December Daily from last year.  And seeing how it will be November this week,
I am right on schedule to finish it up, just like last year.
{Sometimes all I can do is shake my head and "bless my heart"... really.}
So, "dug out" would be the proper term here as the studio became somewhat of a dumping ground the last couple of months.
I had everything together {the journal + all of the supplies and materials} but the one thing I could not find anywhere were my notes.
Knowing my habits, as well as I do, I know to keep meticulous notes in order to be able to finish documenting our month.
I think I threw them away.
It took me all afternoon and going through numerous photo files on both my and the Farmboy's computers, but I now know what happened and when.
I also dug out a stack of paper for this years journal and did a little searching, and then buying, on Etsy for just the right book to house it in.
And just like last year, I hope I can finish last years in time to start this years.
Bless my heart.


Lorrie Orr said...

Grieving takes time. I'm glad Daisy was a distraction and that you are emerging from the first pain of loss.

Your journal looks like it will be great! I need to go back to last year's and see what you did.

Jillayne said...

Poor Daisy... one for the team... I know what you mean, as our Josie-cat is not doing well and is certainly giving us something to focus on, someone to care for and pour all that molly-coddling too as it didn't help Boz. What I know about grieving is that we feel sad until we don't. And while feeling overwhelmingly sad isn't all that pleasant, a little bit right now is OK, and every day it gets a little more tolerable. I hope you find that too; hair is a good place to start.

Robin Thomas said...

It must ave been so hard to walk back in the vet with Daisy. I hope she is better.

Bless all y'all's hearts.