Friday, April 27, 2012

I Met Jenny Lawson and I Did Not Vomit on Her

Jenny Lawson.
Do you know of her?
If not go check her out.  Jenny is probably the funniest person I know.
{and I can say "know" {and call her Jenny} because she talked to me and now we're like BFFs}
{kind of}
Do be warned though, at some point you will probably be offended.

Last night Jenny came to my town for a book signing.
There were tons of people.
There was a lot of laughing and even some snorts.
There was a bar and some people may have had to be helped out of the building.
A story about diarrhea was related.
Social barriers were broken down with the repeated use of the word "vagina".
{which may or may not have been said by the Farmboy}
{all five times}
{plus the pretend vinyl scratching of the word}
Unfortunately there was some fainting.
Which resulted in some blood and the paramedics showing up.
But luckily no stabbings.
There were metal chickens- some holding twine.
There were sweaty palms.
{at least one pair that I know of}
{and maybe some nervous fidgeting of shaky fingers- which might or might not explain sweaty palms}
{plus the destruction of a wrist band}
{and maybe the wish for some Xanax}
There was a taxidermied weasel and a homicidal monkey present.
{and the verb "taxidermied" became a real word for some}
There was even the signing of a minor's boob.

And then there she was, sharpie in hand, and asking me "How are you?"
And all that I could squeakily whisper was, "I think my little, rat heart is going to pop."
But at least
I didn't vomit on her.


Celeste Kemmerer said...

Too funny! You have such a way of putting things!

Photocat said...

Never heard of the girl but will definitely check her out... I hope your pose does not reflect how you feel next to her... grin

kandeland said...

sounds like a perfect evening to me!! i hate it when i miss out on fun like that! great recap of the story too..xo

Tiedupmemories said...

Wow! I'm so excited for you to meet her. I will have to check out who she is to make you almost vomit! Ha! Awesome pic of the two of you!

Nina said...

OMG! I'm having a hard time right now believing you met HER!! You are my hero!