I Met Jenny Lawson and I Did Not Vomit on Her

Jenny Lawson.

The Bloggess.

Author of Let's Pretend This Never Happened.

Do you know of her?

If not go check her out.  Jenny is probably the funniest person I know.

{and I can say "know" {and call her Jenny} because she talked to me and now we're like BFFs}

{kind of}

Do be warned though, at some point you will probably be offended.

Last night Jenny came to my town for a book signing.

There were tons of people.

There was a lot of laughing and even some snorts.

There was a bar and some people may have had to be helped out of the building.

A story about diarrhea was related.

Social barriers were broken down with the repeated use of the word "vagina".

{which may or may not have been said by the Farmboy}

{all five times}
{plus the pretend vinyl scratching of the word}

Unfortunately there was some fainting.

Which resulted in some blood and the paramedics showing up.

But luckily no stabbings.

There were metal chickens- some holding twine.

There were sweaty palms.

{at least one pair that I know of}

{and maybe some nervous fidgeting of shaky fingers- which might or might not explain sweaty palms}
{plus the destruction of a wrist band}

{and maybe the wish for some Xanax}

There was a taxidermied weasel and a homicidal monkey present.

{and the verb "taxidermied" became a real word for some}

There was even the signing of a minor's boob.

And then there she was, sharpie in hand, and asking me "How are you?"

And all that I could squeakily whisper was, "I think my little, rat heart is going to pop."

But at least

I didn't vomit on her.